What does it mean to have a disorder like ET?

What does it “mean” to have a disorder like ET? It’s not a disease. As you and I know it’s probably more like an umbrella term covering a family of different problems all united by one primary symptom – tremor. How do we gain more knowledge about ET and our own conditions? Having a visible tremor is a “sign” to others that there is something wrong with our brains. What this means to others has a direct bearing on what it means to us. And it’s not easy to communicate what it’s like to have ET to others, including health professionals. So how do we know what is important to communicate?

New research comes out, and it’s hard not to personalize it and assume that whatever it says applies to me or to be upset that it clearly doesn’t apply to me! There are many studies of people with ET that show an inflated rate of this or that among people with ET. As an epidemiologist, let me tell you the main problem I have with some of these studies: many of these studies don’t bother to provide or consider the base rate—this is the rate of a particular disorder in the general population, and it helps one understand whether a finding means anything in particular.

Let’s take depression for instance. A study tells you that X% of those with ET also have depression. Gosh, you might say, this may mean my ET makes it more likely that I’ll be depressed. (Well if you kept missing your mouth when you tried to eat peas or apply lipstick, you might also have some general distress towards your functioning – but hey, that’s distress, not depression, which is a clinical diagnosis with many symptoms over at least a two-week time span). What the researchers often don’t tell you is whether this rate is more or less than in the population at large. In fact, depression is a prevalent problem in the general population! Here’s where I have to get a little specific. Again, depression requires a group of symptoms that occurred for at least a two-week period. So if we are asking people about the last two weeks, all we can find is if they are currently in a two-week period of depression. If they started coming out of it a week ago, we won’t accurately measure the fact that in the last 30 days they have been depressed. If we measure the last 30 days only, we won’t know if they had a depressive episode last month that may have resolved enough – not completely, but enough – for them not to reach diagnostic criteria. Finally, if we measure lifetime, we might find out if they have EVER had depression. This ever category is always the biggest. It counts the prevalence of past-30-day (commonly called current) depression and it counts any lifetime episode. Measured this way, one in five people in the U.S. has ever been depressed. So if a study measures the association of depression, lifetime, with ANYTHING, it is very likely to be positive, to look elevated, if you don’t account for the base rate of the disorder in the population. I’m only using depression as an example. The bottom line is that we have to remember when we read the literature that just because someone finds that something is associated with ET doesn’t necessarily mean much. It doesn’t mean with our type of ET we are at higher risk for another disorder or disease.

So what do we need to be communicating to health professionals and, in turn, to researchers? What don’t they know that prevents them from being able to help us with? What about that my hand tremor is only a small part of what my ET is and how it affects me. Lately when I’m laying down to sleep, my neck and head tremor bother me and keep me from falling asleep. I try to get in a position that will lessen it, but I find it difficult to do. I’m still taking less propranolol than I could; maybe it would go away if I took more, or really cut out caffeine from my diet. I also realize that for years I’ve been clenching my jaws to cut down on jaw tremor. Not good for the enamel on my teeth or for my joint! Here’s another weird one – maybe you can relate, maybe not. When someone picks a table that will cause people to sit really close together, or in theaters or other places where the chairs are really small, and some of the people just have to spread their legs and take up lots of space, I’ll be really uncomfortable. Why? Because I’ll be almost forced to activate my muscles to hold my legs closely together, and that will lead to tremor, and then I’ll be really uncomfortable; and honestly it’s hard for me to even communicate what I’m talking about to people who don’t have a tremor. Actually I think the list of what I don’t share about my ET is huge. I didn’t realize it until I started writing this! And that’s just about different tremors, probably not the most important thing about ET to me.

That is the feeling I get when I forget to take my medicine. I feel off balance, like something inside knows something isn’t quite right. And I don’t really see that reflected in the literature. What is in the literature may not at all reflect my ET. It might not reflect yours. That puts an additional burden on each of us to communicate how ET affects us for our own sake, and to build the knowledge base about how ET affects people. I’m hoping we’ll make progress in understanding and treating what we now call ET. It’s going to take new research – but it’s also going to take persons with ET speaking up about what matters most.

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Dr. Catherine Striley is a professor of epidemiology at the University of Florida, Gainesville and has had ET since her early childhood. She therefore has the condition while being a member of the medical community.

ET and Depression

Some days, I wake up feeling depressed.  I just don’t feel like getting up.  My monkey mind starts with ideas like “I’m too tired” and “I just don’t want to face life, especially with this tremor.”  Let’s face it, I don’t know a human soul who doesn’t have a bad day or even difficult times.  As a counselor, I listen to many situations from serious to everyday annoyances.  I’ve begun to notice that everyone has them.  As a famous psychiatrist, Viktor Frankl, who experienced a concentration camp once said, “The last of one’s freedoms is to choose ones attitude in any given circumstance.”

This may seem strange to some, but I’ve learned that even challenging situations are signs that positive change is occurring.  For example, I have a huge estate on the market which is my dream house.  My realtor, handyman, friends and I worked very hard to get the house clean, fixed and ready to sell.  I found myself working night and day to paint, clean and stage the house.  In the middle of cleaning out my art studio I started to cry for two reasons.  One reason was I was selling my dream home, even though I knew it was the right time, it felt like losing a part of me that felt safe and peaceful.  The second reason was my tremor was worse and I was overdoing it.

I’ve learned that the best way out of feeling sad or depressed is to do something in order to feel better.  I asked myself what would make me feel better. I know that crying is a good release and opens the heart.  This was good for me instead of suppressing my emotions.  Even men are doing more of it on shows like The Bachelorette when they get disappointed that they lost the girl they had their heart set on.  I’m glad that it is OK to feel our emotions these days.  Getting out of a depressed state takes action so I asked myself what would make me feel better.  I followed my intuition to call a friend to go to a movie.  I wanted to get out of the house and I realized that I was hungry too, which can definitely affect my tremors. While eating I explained to my friend my situation and why my shaking was worse than usual.  Guess what, it improved by eating and sharing.

When I returned home, I felt better and I was shaking less.  I got a good night’s sleep and got busy preparing the house for my Mother to visit me while her bathroom was being converted from a bathtub to a shower. I wasn’t sure I could handle it before my outing, but now I had the energy and faith that all would work out fine.  She has a tremor too and can get irritable when her medication isn’t working or when she doesn’t get enough sleep.  When she arrived, Mother even made the comment that she thought she might be depressed.  I thought to myself, what can I do to help her feel better? I have realized that it is often the little things that help change our attitude.  I helped to make her physically comfortable by feeding her and helping her bathe.  I then showed her how to play solitaire and mahjong on my iPad.  I saw that cute “little girl smile” cross her face.  For a couple of hours, Mother forgot she had a tremor and decided she wanted an iPad to play games on and the touch screen was easy for her to use.  I ended up giving her one for an early 86th birthday gift (her birthday is not until the end of August).  She is now showing other seniors how to use it.

One lady called me on the phone about joining the ET support group.  She said that she doesn’t leave the house and has a company bringing food to her.  She is 60 years old.  I asked her the reason she stays home.  I wondered if she had another illness besides ET.  Her response was that she lives alone and doesn’t want to eat in a restaurant in front of people.  “I think I’m depressed,” she said, “because I don’t feel like doing anything.”  I told her that it would take courage for her to come to the meeting but that I know she would feel better if she did.  She is working on getting a ride.  I hope she comes.

Sometimes embarrassment or social phobia due to tremors can lead to depression.  Clinically speaking, depression is described as anger turned inward about a situation, in this case ET, lack of interest in life due to frustration about it.  It can cause a person to decide not to feed oneself or function at all.  I feel sad when I hear about this lack of freedom.  I’ve been there before, until I decided to open up, tell others and find everything I can to feel better, such as medical discoveries, natural remedies or doing the simple things that help me to take action to improve my life.

Most of the time, I’m now waking up as someone with a purpose, a simple one, to love and accept myself and others with or without tremors.  I was guided to become a counselor when I decided to take action and ask for a purpose.  I will do all I can to research and find new ways of living with or eradicating ET, a condition I have had all my life. I have found that light always shines after darkness.  I’ve seen people with tremors so severe that they could barely function and others with less frequency.  Some are focusing on what they can’t do and others want to know techniques for feeling better. I now choose the latter.  What I love about conferences and support groups is we can all work together to learn from the medical community about research, and  experiment and share with each other how we can improve our quality of life each day.

Joan Marie Barringer
HopeNet Board Member